Questions To Ask When Considering Surrogacy

March 15, 2023

When you think about becoming a surrogate, you might have a lot of questions and emotions swirling around the possibility such an important journey. Being a surrogate is a wonderful choice to help others create a family, but it is one that comes with many responsibilities as well. You will need to prepare yourself for the process physically and mentally, and examine if this is a good point in your life and in your family dynamic to pursue surrogacy. We’ll explore a few questions you should be prepared to answer by the time you are ready to make the decision.

What Is Your Experience With Pregnancy?

First, we should begin with a discussion of your experience with pregnancy. As a general rule, gestational surrogates must have completed at least one successful full-term pregnancy without any major complications. In fact, surrogate candidates have often completed their families and are ready to help others achieve their dream of parenthood and experience the same joy they felt in becoming a parent. Surrogates who have gone through a full pregnancy have a better familiarity of how their bodies react to the process, allowing them to anticipate what they will need for emotional and physical support. 

Can You Meet the Requirements for Being a Surrogate?

Second, let’s discuss the requirements for becoming a surrogate. When you start considering surrogacy, you should know that you must meet certain requirements for mental and physical health, among other factors set by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM). Qualified candidates are in their 20s or 30s, are financially stable, have a moderate BMI, have completed an uncomplicated pregnancy at least several months prior, are free from certain preexisting health conditions, and are willing to undergo extensive medical screening. Typically, you’ll need to be able to avoid using alcohol and certain medications for the duration of the journey. 

Do You Understand Your Motivations for Becoming a Surrogate?

Third, we should examine the common motivations surrogates have for participating in the process. Some people are so eager to help others become parents that they are willing to go through a year of the process with applications, screenings, matching, fertility treatments, and pregnancy to support that goal. Others simply love the experience of being pregnant, but their families are already complete, so they are happy to do so for someone else. Financial compensation is an important component of considering being a surrogate, but you should have other motivations as well in order to have a satisfying experience. 

Are You Ready for the Surrogacy Journey?

Fourth, let’s discuss the importance of being ready to commit to the surrogacy journey. Although a pregnancy lasts about nine months, the entire experience typically lasts a year or longer. Surrogates need to complete the application process and work on matching with prospective intended parents. They must then complete a medical screening to confirm that they are healthy enough to sustain a surrogate pregnancy, will work on legal contracts to protect all parties, and then undergo fertility treatments as part of the initial process. It’s best to choose a time when you feel like you can emotionally and physically handle the commitment and be flexible to the requirements of the process.

Do You Have Plenty of Support During the Surrogacy Journey?

Finally, we should conclude by emphasizing the need for support during the surrogacy journey. Even though there are many steps involved in the process, surrogacy is a pregnancy, and you deserve to have support from the start to the end! Even uncomplicated pregnancies can have physical symptoms and emotional effects that may put stress on you. There will also be times you may need help with childcare, such as when attending appointments or when it comes time to head to the hospital for delivery. Your surrogacy journey will have the best support when your family and friends are enthusiastic about your decision, and ready to help you when you need it.

Am I Emotionally Ready to Become a Surrogate?

Deciding to become a surrogate is a profound choice that requires emotional readiness. If you are considering surrogacy, it’s important to reflect on your motivations and the emotional implications of carrying a child for someone else. Surrogacy involves a special bond between you, the intended parents (IPs),  and the child, which can lead to complex feelings throughout every stage of the journey. 

Before committing, take the time to assess your emotional stability and support system. You may experience a wide range of emotions — from joy to anxiety — as you navigate the ups and downs of pregnancy. Considering being a surrogate means recognizing that you will also have to manage the expectations of the IPs, who are likely experiencing their own emotional journey. Open communication with your partner, family, and friends is key, as their support will help you through this process. Ultimately, being emotionally ready involves not only understanding your motivations but also being prepared for the emotional complexities that may arise during and after the pregnancy. By taking time to evaluate your feelings, you can begin this journey with confidence and clarity, making the experience more fulfilling for everyone involved.

Do I Fully Understand The Post-Birth Considerations? 

As you contemplate the surrogacy journey, it’s crucial to understand the post-birth considerations that come into play. After the baby is born, the transition can be emotional for both the surrogate and the IPs. If you are considering surrogacy, being aware of the potential feelings and dynamics involved can help you prepare for this significant moment. Post-birth, you may have a mixture of emotions ranging from happiness to sadness, especially as you hand over the baby. It’s important to discuss feelings and boundaries with the IPs beforehand. Some surrogates find it helpful to create a post-birth plan, outlining how they envision their relationship with the child and the IPs after the delivery. 

Additionally, consider the legal implications. The intended parents will typically assume parental rights right after the birth, so it’s essential to have all legal agreements in place prior to delivery. Understanding these post-birth considerations will help you feel more secure in your decision and create a smoother transition for everyone involved. By being proactive and open about these aspects, you can make this journey a rewarding experience that honors the emotional and legal complexities of surrogacy.

Visit ISC for Help

We at International Surrogacy Center know first-hand that the decision to be a surrogate is both a significant responsibility and an incredible gift, since most of our staff have been surrogates ourselves. Our personal insight allows us to best assist you on this journey and factors into why we offer the most competitive surrogate benefit package, including $5,000 in sign on bonuses. Our monthly surrogate support group meetings and active social media advocacy also provide surrogates with a strong sense of community and support. We want each of our surrogates to understand what you can expect during the journey with our expertise and heartfelt consideration every step of the way. If you have more questions, our FAQ can help you make an educated decision. We make it easy to search regulations by states. Contact ISC to learn more!