Being a surrogate is a wonderful gift to intended parents. Once you make the choice to help others on the path to parenthood, it’s common to wonder what it takes to get your body, mind and life ready for the journey. If you’re researching how to become a surrogate mother, you should know that the term surrogate or gestational carrier is more appropriate. Although each surrogacy journey is unique, there are a number of surrogacy steps you can expect to take. Let’s explore some of the first several steps to becoming a gestational carrier.
1. Learn the Requirements for Surrogacy
Before you start making plans for your surrogacy journey, you should understand the rules and general guidelines on how to become a surrogate mother. Surrogates need to meet a number of requirements in order to act as a gestational carrier. These include:
- Good general health: You should be in good health, free from chronic conditions or medical issues that might impact your ability to carry a pregnancy to term. Regular check-ups with your healthcare provider will help confirm that you are physically fit for surrogacy.
- Age requirements: Most agencies prefer surrogates who are in their 20s or 30s. This age range is favorable as it helps maintain optimal health and minimize risks associated with pregnancy. Some agencies may have specific age limits based on their protocols.
- Healthy lifestyle choices: A history of maintaining a healthy lifestyle — including abstaining from drugs and excessive alcohol — is essential. This lifestyle helps ensure a lower risk of complications during pregnancy and supports overall well-being.
- Successful past pregnancies: Having previous pregnancies that were uncomplicated is an important factor. This history demonstrates your ability to carry a healthy pregnancy to term and indicates that you are well prepared for the physical demands of surrogacy.
- Supportive environment: A supportive environment and stable lifestyle are often necessary to manage the physical and emotional demands of pregnancy and surrogacy. This includes having a network of support from family and friends.
- Additionally, surrogates must reside in states where surrogacy is legally permitted. Each state has its own set of regulations, and some may impose stricter requirements than others, so it’s best to familiarize yourself with local laws and regulations regarding surrogacy.
2. Make a Decision to Become a Surrogate
If you’re asking, “How do I become a surrogate mother?” you may be ready to make a decision. For every surrogate, there is a right time and opportunity to complete a surrogacy journey. You may need extra flexibility in your schedule starting several months before the pregnancy and finishing several weeks after delivery. It’s also important to consider your family’s needs during the process, so you can choose a time that works best for everyone.
Deciding to become a surrogate also involves several personal considerations. It’s vital that you reflect deeply on why you want to become a surrogate. Many surrogates are driven by a strong desire to help others build their families when they are unable to do so themselves. Understanding your motivation will provide clarity and commitment throughout the process.
- Health considerations: Assess your physical and mental readiness for the demands of pregnancy and surrogacy. This includes checking that you are in good health and have a stable emotional state, as surrogacy can be physically demanding and emotionally challenging.
- Family considerations: Consider how your surrogacy journey will impact your family. This involves discussing the time commitment required, the potential emotional toll, and how your family will support you throughout the process. Being open with your family and involving them in discussions can help manage expectations and gain their support.
- Moral and emotional considerations: Reflect on your motivations and the emotional implications of carrying a child for another family. Consider the long-term effects this experience might have on your life and the life of the child once the surrogacy is complete. Being clear about your emotional readiness and moral stance will help you navigate the surrogacy journey with confidence.
3. Research Surrogacy Agencies
In most cases, you’ll need to find an agency that can help you through the process of becoming a surrogate. Surrogacy involves a significant commitment of your time and physical energy, and it’s hard to know what to do on your own as there are countless moving pieces and various parties you’ll need to work with (attorneys, IVF clinics, insurance specialists, escrow managers, and physicians to name a few). Agencies can assist you in understanding the requirements, matching with intended parents, following through the medical process to achieve pregnancy, and coordinating with all parties to facilitate a smooth journey.
The best agencies are there to support you every step of the way. This includes providing detailed information about the legal agreements involved, offering resources and counseling to help you navigate the emotional aspects of surrogacy, and providing financial guidance to manage the economic aspects of the process. Reputable agencies are experienced in handling the intricacies of surrogacy and will be instrumental in facilitating communication between you and the intended parents, as well as managing the logistics involved in the surrogacy arrangement.
4. Complete Application and Screening Process
Once you have chosen an agency, you can start the application and screening process. Usually, you’ll need to complete an application with information about yourself and your goals. As part of the screening process, you may be asked to permit access to your medical records or provide other details about prenatal and delivery history and your ability to carry a future healthy pregnancy. If you meet the requirements and want to continue, the agency can help you match with intended parents looking for a surrogate.
The application also typically includes psychological evaluations to assess your mental and emotional preparedness for the surrogacy journey. These evaluations help confirm that you are ready for the physical and emotional challenges of surrogacy and that you have the necessary support systems in place. The agency will use this information to confirm that you meet all the criteria and to help you find the best match with intended parents.
5. Match With Intended Parents
Matching with intended parents is an essential step when figuring out how to become a surrogate mother. Since a surrogacy journey can take as long as 12-18 months or more, it’s important to choose intended parents (also called IPs) who are a good match. Your agency will ask questions to understand your style, preferences, and goals, and talk to you about IPs who may be a good fit for you.
The agency will help facilitate discussions about the expectations and responsibilities of both parties, promoting clear communication and agreement on all aspects of the surrogacy arrangement. This preparation phase is crucial for a successful and harmonious surrogacy experience. A match is only made once all parties have met and agree to move forward with each other, to minimize the chances of conflict throughout the journey. Once you finalize a match, appointments can then be scheduled for screening and preparation for the IVF process.
Start Your Surrogacy Journey With ISC
When you start wondering, “How do you become a surrogate mother?” you need the support of an agency with experience. At International Surrogacy Center, over half of our staff have personal experience from our own surrogacy journeys. We are delighted to help you determine what you need to begin your surrogacy journey, answering your questions along the way. To get started, research the guidelines for surrogacy by states and contact us today!